Peace

I prayed about my problems, and grabbed my mp3 player and went out to mow the grass. I just reflected on everything that has happened in my life, and how my life go to where it is right now. I paid attention to the grass, and the trees, and the birds, and just took in everything out there. I realized that I have been missing so much in my life because of my addictions. I know I can beat this, and I know I'll never be alone again. I've been reading so much, and learning so much. This new life in Christ is given me countless ways to channel my energy and beat my addictions. I've been reading an awesome book about David, and how he was a terrible sinner, but he overcame everything and was called a man of God's own heart. I realize now what that means. I'm basically having to tear down everything I thought I knew about myself and start over, because I know that the person that's been inside this body for however long wasn't me. I am overwhelmed at times with emotions, good and bad. The bad ones come mostly from knowing how things turned out with the person I love, but I know I hurt her and she is hurt too bad to ever get to know the new me. I am growing in so many ways though, and it feels incredible. I never knew I could feel this way. I finally understand what it means to have true peace and freedom. No matter what happens from here on out, I WILL beat these addictions and I WILL do good in God's world, and I am so full of positive energy. Freedom from your sins, burdens, troubles, and demons is an amazing thing, and I wish everyone could feel what I've been feeling since I got saved.