Yesterday afternoon, I was asked to answer some very difficult questions about my relationship. She asked some very tough questions, and said she needed honest answers to be able to heal. She told me to please not look at this as her reaching out to me in any way, but I don't understand how she can ask me to reach out to her like that. I feel like we need to reach out to each other, and face this together, or just let it go. Even if it's just to be able to understand everything that happened, and why it happened and to have closure. We should be able to reach out to each other and discuss this with the intentions of helping each other, not just me helping her because I hurt her. I need help too. We should just try to help each other face the issue, without any other intentions behind it...not to get back together, or not to even be friends one day, but just to help each other get past this mess. I prayed about it, and God wants me to try to help her, even it might be one-sided. I am not asking her to reach out to me or to do anything at all, but I don't know that a one-sided answer session will help her the way she needs to be helped. I pray for God to be her strength in this, and to be able to face her fears.
I went out with someone last night. It was fun, we watched that Twilight movie and got pizza. The movie was decent, and the company was good. She wants to see me again, but I am going through so much right now, that I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm just praying for God to guide me, and be my strength in everything that I do, and I know He will show the way. I like this girl, and she's attractive, and we have a lot in common, but even just hugging her at the end of the date didn't feel right to me, and that's not fair to her. I know this is what I need to do to be able to move on, but I can't live with hurting anyone else. I guess I'll just have to take it slow and see what happens, but right now I can't imagine even kissing anyone.
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