It's amazing to be able to start a new life, free from your secrets and fears. I never thought I would ever feel like this again. Reconnecting with some old friends and just spending better time with family means so much more than I ever realized. I never truly realized how I alone I really was in my life until this past week. I am truly overwhelmed by all the people that care about me, and want to help me, and they want nothing in return. I'm running out of adjectives to describe all the emotions I've experienced over the past week, but there's not much of a way to describe it anyway. There are no words I could say that would make anyone understand just what I am feeling now. I have crawled from the bottom of dark, terrifying pit to the summit of Mount Everest. I can't describe how strong I feel, having control of my life again, and I can't even begin to describe the strength of my faith. I learned yesterday that our suffering helps us identify more with Christ, and boy have I suffered. I am so happy at what I've been able to accomplish over the past week, and I'm ecstatic about how it makes me feel. Christ has shown me the way, and I'm not sure exactly how or anything, but I am compelled to search for a way to share my story and my testimony. I haven't learned much yet, but so far I identify so much with David, who sinned in every way imagineable, but was still "a man of God's own heart." All the bad times David went through were when he was focused on something other than God, and all his triumphs and glories were at times when he focused only on God and God's strength. I pray daily that I can focus on our Lord and His strength and I know he will light my path to where I am meant to go. I wish I could I describe the depths of my feelings and the strength of my faith now, but there is no way.
Understanding and fighting my addictions also gives me great strength, and I am proud that I have been able to reach this point. It's been hard, but it is worth it to never have to live like that again. I lived in my own personal hell for years, except for short respites here and there, and I never want to feel that way again. God grants me the strength to face my fears and my problems, and there is a lot of help available to fight it. He has led me here today, and it is so wonderful in every way.
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Fantastic perspective! The Bible is full of messed up people used by God to do really cool things. David is one of the good ones, but there are a lot more. Most of the apostles had "issues", too. Matthew was an extortionist. Peter bailed on Jesus after swearing he'd never waver. Paul actually executed some of the first Christians before coming to faith himself.
All of them had to learn the same lesson you (and I) already have -- God can tranform the pain and weakness of the past to the strength and blessing of the present and future... if we let Him.
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